Unleashing My Power Within
My experience at the recent Tony Robbins virtual seminar "Unleash the Power Within"
I first saw Tony Robbins in an infomercial in the ‘80s. He was pitching his first audio program called "Personal Power," a 24-cassette, 30-day program to reach "unlimited power." I don't remember the specifics of the infomercial, but I remember this enormous man (he's 6' 7"), with a booming voice and tremendous, infectious energy.
During my senior year of high school, I saved up the money I made mowing lawns and plunked down $149 for his program. To put this in perspective, each lawn I mowed made me anywhere from $5 to $20, so this was a huge investment. Over the subsequent years, I listened to this full 30-day course on at least five occasions—typically when starting a new phase of my life.
In 2001, I quit my private equity job in California and packed up my 1988 Volvo DL to drive 18 hours from San Francisco to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. I endeavored to woo my then ex high-school girlfriend, now wife of 18 years—perhaps a subject for another blog. My car's tape player didn't work, so I stationed a boom box on the passenger seat next to me, loaded up on D batteries, and proceeded to listen to 18 hours of Robbins in a row.
By the time I arrived in Steamboat, I was literally bouncing out of the seat. I was ready to take over the world. It was on that trip that I decided, despite having no investors and being only 27 at the time (merely "limiting beliefs" according to Robbins), that I was going to start a private equity fund. And thus, Alpine Investors was born.
Despite my fondness for Robbins, until this weekend I'd never attended one of his seminars. I’m not a big seminar person; I have a short attention span and a minor phobia of crowds. When I’d historically watched the ads for his seminars, I couldn't envision myself in a stadium jumping around with 10,000 strangers.
“One of the speakers was a man who trains world-class athletes. He claimed that the most impressive athlete he has ever trained is Tony Robbins. I believe it.”
When his seminar went virtual due to COVID-19, and the dates happened to work for me, I figured that I had to knock a Tony Robbins seminar off my bucket list. I remembered his seminars costing about $2,500 to $9,999, but this virtual event cost only $395 for four days, Thursday through Sunday. Other than what I'd seen on TV and his Netflix documentary "I am not your Guru," I had no idea what to expect.
My first surprise was the schedule:
Thursday: 6:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. (which lasted until 9:45 p.m.)
Friday: 6:45 a.m.-8:00 p.m.
Saturday: 5:30 a.m.-8:00 p.m.
Sunday: 6:45 a.m.-8:00 p.m.
Fourteen hours per day for four days; they weren't messing around. I groaned, imagining myself sitting for 14 hours on Zoom for four days in a row. I soon learned that this was the sixth virtual seminar that he has hosted since COVID-19 confined us all to our homes.
Here are a few of my most memorable observations:
Tony Robbins is an amazing facilitator
It’s worth the price of admission and time just to watch a once-in-a-generation speaker at the peak of his game. On the first day, Robbins, now 60 years old, took the stage around 8:15 a.m. and left the stage around 9:15 p.m. For 13 hours, he had no notes, never said the word "um,” never hesitated, and had more energy than any human I've ever seen. He danced, jumped, yelled, cried, and carried the complete attention of 12,500 Zoom attendees. During the 13 hours, we had one two-minute restroom break and one 30-minute dinner break. Other than that, I didn't see him take a break, use the restroom, pause to collect his thoughts, let down his energy slightly, or even take a sip of water. It was absolutely inspiring. He later shared that he has been doing these events 200-plus days a year, 12-plus hours a day for over 40 years. And prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, all events were in different cities, so add to that grueling schedule flights, taxis, hotels, and jet lag. One of the speakers was a man who trains world-class athletes. He claimed that the most impressive athlete he has ever trained is Tony Robbins. I believe it.
Tony has taken an impressive path
While I'm sure that there is some creative license in some of his stories, he essentially started in an abusive household and has risen to be one of the most sought-after performance coaches in the world, Robbins has used his brand and frameworks to create a massive empire. He claims (and reminded us on at least seven occasions) that the revenue of the companies he owns is in excess of $6 billion. Irrespective of the revenue specifics, it is clear from his success, his physical and emotional energy, his love for his work, the extraordinary life he's led, and his ability to connect with his 12,500-person audience, that the biggest beneficiary of Tony Robbins' psychology is Tony Robbins himself.
He walks the walk.
The real battle is the inner battle
The inner battle is a concept I have written and spoken about before in my Stanford GSB last lecture. The inner battle was also a major theme of the event. Stress, self-image, happiness, fulfillment, joy, and peace don't come from external events, although they seem to. You're not going to be happy when XYZ happens. You're not going to be happy if XYZ person is nicer to you or returns your texts. You're going to be happy when you can change your inner dialogue. The focus of the conference was to help provide tools to do just that.
Energy is the basis of our lives
If there was a theme of the entire event, and perhaps even a theme of Tony Robbins himself, energy is it. The idea is that your mind is two million years old and is programmed for negative activity (a topic I wrote about in an earlier blog post here). The way to get out of your head is to get into your body. I've understood this before, but during this seminar it was beaten into us 14 hours per day for four days. We must have spent at least half of the event on our feet. Most of this time, we were listening to music, jumping around, cheering, dancing, or chanting. One of the promises I made to myself before attending the event was that I was not going to be "above" anything—I was going to do everything all-in. And I'm so glad I did. I loved it. I loved the music, loved dancing around like a goofball, and loved seeing the many faces and dancers on Zoom. It was invigorating.
We belong in a beautiful state
The payoff of the dancing, standing, and jumping is that it puts you into what Robbins calls a "beautiful state." He has studied the fundamentals of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), which he used to help us use our bodies to get in a positive frame of mind. He taught us ways to interrupt our mind's negative thoughts using gestures, motions, and our voices. We spent hours getting into a positive state so that we could approach life—making decisions, having courage, sharing loving relationships—from this beautiful state.
In the week since the conference, I find the same negative thinking pattern creeping in, but now I am able to stand, create a powerful gesture, breathe, and redirect my energy. This has been incredibly powerful and I’m hoping to maintain it.
Our limiting beliefs keep us from our destiny
I do exercises around limiting beliefs with my coaches, students, and colleagues. During the seminar, we went much deeper. We spent about five hours on what Robbins calls the "Dickens" exercise, named for Charles Dickens, author of “A Christmas Carol.” The idea is to visualize your past, present, and future life with your current limiting beliefs (like Ebenezer Scrooge does with the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future). This exercise was incredibly powerful to me. I realized how many limiting beliefs I'd been living with that I wasn't aware I had. Some of my own limiting beliefs that surfaced were:
I am not enough.
I need to be "productive" all the time.
My "significance" is more important than my relationships.
I need external validation to feel good about myself.
I need to be on Zoom 10 hours per day.
Through the exercise, I was able to develop strategies to interrupt and reprogram these beliefs. It has only been a few days since the event, but so far, these techniques have already helped me keep my limiting beliefs at bay.
There is power in immersion
The seminar itself is an example of this. I wondered why they didn't follow a typical 9 a.m.-4 p.m. schedule with several breaks. “Maybe they could do one day and then wait a month, and then do another day…” I thought. On the surface, that timeline would seem more logical. But I learned that the power of immersing yourself into an experience creates change. I stayed in this state throughout the event and was able to build on the experiences. Earlier in Alpine's history, we invested in a company that made software for slot machines. I remember the founder telling the story of moving to Montreal, where the development lab was located, and sleeping in his RV while working 15 hours a day for three weeks straight. At the end of that time, he produced some of the best games for his market.
The phenomenon of “deep work” was described in Cal Newport’s book by the same name. Cal describes how nearly all of us perform our best work when we create large blocks of uninterrupted time. Upon returning from the session, I scheduled eight full days of offsites with my partners to build our future. Lucky them!
Robbins brought an incredible amount of energy and connection. In addition to standing and dancing, he mostly communicated by telling stories, at times yelling, crying, and laughing, and at all times staying connected to the story and the audience. I was riveted for most of the 14 hours each day.
Zoom calls can be incredibly engaging
Robbins and his team designed the ultimate Zoom experience. First, he worked with Zoom to host events with 12,500 attendees split among 40 separate "rooms," each with approximately 300 attendees. We could chat with the 300 people in our group and see them on our screens. We could also see the “main stage,” a massive stage with 360-degree Zoom screens from floor to 30-foot ceiling. Each attendee had their own web-enabled dashboard, which showed different rooms to which you could connect, the agenda for the show, and critical information about the event. It made logging in and out of Zoom seamless.
During registration for the event, there was a mandatory check of your Zoom technology and a short call with the Robbins team to test it. There were no technology glitches during the entire 60 hours of programming.
Sometimes, we can all use a push
I am committed to growth and continuous improvement. I've read or listened to countless books, podcasts, TED talks, and YouTube videos. Given all of this, I greatly benefited from this conference. It gave me the push I needed right now. A few commitments I made:
Significantly freeing my work calendar by delegating and eliminating recurring tasks
Rewiring my morning rituals, including breathing, gratitude, goal setting, and meditating
A daily practice of silencing my inner critics
Committing to playing big
Launching a new course at Stanford
For those who can make one of Tony Robbins’ conferences work, I highly recommend trying to do so. For those of you who can't, I hope the takeaways above can be helpful for you in rewiring your inner dialogue, pushing past your limiting beliefs, and creating your best life.
Happy Holidays,
Graham
